I’m in New York City with my 16-year-old daughter, Taylor.  We flew to NYC Friday night and will be here until Monday evening.  Yesterday we went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and saw the musical Wicked.

You are probably wondering, “Why is the guy who has 12 kids taking just 1 kid to NYC?”  Twenty-nine years ago on Christmas eve, my father passed away from ALS.  During my recent sabbatical while I was thinking about what we were going to get the kids for Christmas, I thought, “What would I want most from my dad?”  I had this epiphany: If I could have anything from my dad it would be to spend one more day with him.

After sharing this with Annie, we decided we would do something different for Christmas last year.  Instead of selecting, finding, buying, and wrapping the many presents we typically get for the kids, we decided we would give them one physical gift and a 1:1 trip with their dad.  We didn’t tell the kids we were doing this, and we didn’t give them the option of selecting the places they would go.  Instead, when they woke up on Christmas morning, they received a letter that informed them where they were going and when.  Below is a copy of one of these letters.

Dear Taylor,

Merry Christmas!

Your Hayao Miyazaki drawing skills have not gone unnoticed!  We are amazed at your artistic talent and unrelenting drive!  And your music selection makes us think we might see you jamin’ with Adam, Jack and Ryan, or maybe Dave Munro…in a good way😊.

When Dad was thinking about his dad, he concluded that if he could have anything, it would be to have one more day to be with him.

You are hereby invited to a trip with Dad to New York City from February 7 to February 10^th!  The plane has been booked, the room reserved, and a tour of NYU has been scheduled.  On Friday, we will fly non-stop to JFK airport.  On Saturday, we will visit the Metropolitan Museum of Art and see the Broadway musical, Wicked.  Sunday, we will attend church and see the NYC temple.  On Monday, we have a tour of NYU scheduled at 11 am.  We will fly home Monday evening after navigating the public transport to Liberty International airport in Newark, New Jersey.

At NYU, you may be able to have an interview and sit in on a class.  If you want to do that, you will need to contact Annie Nelson (amn318@nyu.edu) and make the reservation.

Dad looks forward to spending some one-on-one time with you and visiting the school you hope to attend.

Love,

Mom & Dad

We chose NYC for Taylor because she really wants to go to NYU.  I don’t think she will actually get to go to NYU because it’s too expensive and we are too well-off to get a needs-based scholarship, but too poor to be able to pay the $100,000+ per year without significantly impacting our retirement funds or mortgaging our house.

But Taylor loves art and we thought she would love Wicked (which she did).  And, more importantly, it gave me a good excuse to spend some 1:1 time with Taylor.

I’ve found that when your kids are young, they come to you all the time.  It’s easy to spend time with them because they are always seeking you out.  But as they grow older, you have to be intentional to get them to spend some meaningful time with you.

While in NYC, we learned to navigate the transit—and thank goodness we did.  When we got out of the musical, it was 11 pm and snowing.  We found the right train just before my phone died with its Google-powered navigation.

When we got off the train, we weren’t sure the exact directions to our hotel so I asked a random stranger if he could use his phone to point us towards where we were staying.  He did and it was just a street away.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Today, Taylor and I are going to go to a congregation that mostly includes young single adults who are going to college at Columbia or NYU.  In LDS terminology, congregations that attend a particular building are called wards.  I hope Taylor will get to meet some interesting faith-filled young people.  Maybe she can get some ideas about how to fulfill her NYU dream.